Taking the Big Break

Dr. Spaghetti, world-famous doctor and medical scientist, heading off to work one morning as usual. As he biked along, he saw a buff, cloaked figure. He was holding a macaroni telephone. The man said into the telephone, “Of course, Mr. Linguine. We shall watch him and contact you.” Then he hung up and when he saw Dr. Spaghetti he pulled his hood over his face. Dr. Spaghetti knew immediately that any future attempts to see the man’s face would be fruitless. What he had just seen slowly slipped to the back of his mind, as he biked to his laboratory.

Soon he arrived, parked his bike and descended into his laboratory.  As his elevator reached his lab, he thought about the mysterious encounter with the cloaked stranger.  “Now that I think about it,” pondered Dr. Spaghetti, “There were a lot of cloaked strangers and black cars with tinted windows.”  But his thoughts were interrupted when he arrived at the lab.  The alarms were going off and an alert said loudly, “Epidemic spreading in Asia and North Africa!  Carried disease, likely found in Parmesan Cheese.”   Soon he had forgotten all about the creepy arrival of the macaroni man.  He quickly mixed the juice of a tomato, the essence of pasta, disease-free 100 year-old parmesan and a drop of Ibuprofen.  He zoomed off, taking an emergency plane to Asia.

His wife, Mrs. Penne, was making telescopes out of penne when she got a telephone call, an automatic response of the lab.  The call said in a robotic voice, “Hello from the lab.  There was a terrible epidemic and Dr. Spaghetti is on a plane to Asia.”  Mrs. Penne ran out of the building and zoomed home.  She did a little research and found out that there was a deadly disease after all.  In her research, she learned that a mastermind, Mr. Linguine, had recently bought a parmesan factory.  She called Dr. Spaghetti on a special in-flight phone and told him about Mr. Linguine.

He thought about what she had said and told her about what he had heard.  He and Mrs. Penne realized that it all added up.  He delivered the pasta sauce in Asia and hopped on another plane and headed for the parmesan factory owned by Mr. Linguine in London.  He questioned the old owner.  He said, “Mr. Linguine’s bodyguard and his macaroni minions forced me to hand over the factory for really cheap.”  He called Mrs. Penne and told her this.  She contacted her steadfast friends: Ms. Rigatoni, Mrs. Farfalle, Mr. Fusilli, Mr. Agnolotti, and Ms. Conchiglie.  Then they all got on a plane and headed out to storm the factory.

Meanwhile, in Mr. Linguine’s lair underneath Big Ben, he said to his bodyguard, “Now we wait for the Mac men to do their job.  Dr. Spaghetti is distracted, on the plane to Asia.  The Macaroni Men shall control the world! Give them the magic word.”  Mr. Lasagna nodded once and called over his walkie-talkie: “Attack!”  All over the world, Macaroni Minions pulled out… Super-Sticky Mac-and-Cheese blasters!

(Drawing by Elio)

Soon Dr. Spaghetti and his friends arrived in the factory.  They met a patrol of Macaroni Men, who pulled out their blasters.  Soon the entire group was sticky with melted cheese.  Ms. Rigatoni was first to attack.  She got three mac men cuffed in rigatoni noodles.  Mr. Fusilli used his drilling noodles to dig a deep pit around four Macaroni Men.  Ms. Conchiglie and Mrs. Farfalle battled five Macaroni Men.  Mr. Agnolotti pelted the rest with Agnolotti.  Soon they had defeated them and arrived into the factory.  They met no resistance as they worked their way through the factory and left it in the good hands of the old owner. They asked the mac men where their orders were coming from. They said “We get them from underneath Big Ben.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Lasagna (Mr. Linguine’s bodyguard) said to Mr. Linguine, “We have received intelligence that Dr. Spaghetti has broken into the parmesan factory.”

Mr. Linguine said “That is most worrisome.  He should be in Asia.  Well, we will double the number of guards here and we will leave for the top floor of Taipei 101 Taiwan that I bought from the government for a billion dollars.  We should be hard to track, unlike how easily we are tracking the pasta people.”  They looked at the monitor as the car carrying the pasta people headed from the factory to Big Ben, carrying them to hundreds of Mac Minions.

Dr. Spaghetti and his friends found Big Ben and headed up, disguised as Irish tourists. They sneaked into the elevator and went down, down to the ground.  Soon they got to the bottom of the ride. The doors opened and an army of Mac Men, equipped with cheese blasters appeared. As the weapons discharged their creamy goo, the pasta people fought back. Soon many of the mac men were covered with spaghetti and penne, agnolotti and rigatoni.  But the other side had suffered losses too.  They were covered from head to toe with cheese and macaroni.  Mrs. Penne, Mrs. Farfalle, and Ms. Conchiglie were all too weak to continue by the end of the battle.  Luckily though, they had won.  Soon they had looked through his lair but could not find Mr. Linguine.  They were confused.  “Where could they have gone?” everyone wondered aloud.

Dr. Spaghetti had an idea and said in a loud voice, “This Mr. Linguine has a knack for tall, famous buildings.  What’s the tallest building in the world?  What is the most famous building in the world?”

“Taipei 101!” cried Mr. Agnolotti.

“The Eiffel Tower!” yelled Ms. Rigatoni.

“Okay,” said Dr. Spaghetti, “Mr. Agnolotti and Ms. Rigatoni, explore Taipei 101.  Mr. Fusilli, you explore the Eiffel Tower.  I will go and recruit even more of our friends to help us, as this is going to be a big job.”He then left on a plane.

Later, in the Eiffel Tower, there was chaos.  France had been taken over by Macaroni Men.  They were commanding everyone to pretend nothing happened.  But with all the tourists, it was practically impossible to keep the secret from getting out.  But really, there was no Mr. Linguine.

But in Taipei 101, Taiwan, there were some bad, suspicious things going on.  Mr. Angolotti and Ms. Rigatoni saw a huge man in a black cape.  As the team crept along the passageway, they called Dr. Spaghetti to tell him about the huge man in the black cape. As they reported  him to Dr. Spaghetti, they heard a loud “Yes, Mr. Linguine” and Dr. Spaghetti heard them falling into a trap. Soon they found that there was no way out.  They were trapped!

Meanwhile, Dr. Spaghetti had received the call and knew they were trapped.  He knew that something like that might happen.  He told Mr. Fusili to follow Dr. Spaghetti to recruit more help.  Soon they had both arrived at the city of his friends, Mr. Tagliatelle and Mrs. Ravoili. They headed for their home and were soon in Mr. Tagliatelle’s and Mrs. Ravioli’s home in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.  They told them about what had happened and they were off on a plane, headed for the skyscraper.

At the same time, the evil Mr. Linguine had found Mr. Agnolotti and Ms. Rigatoni in the trap.  He said, “You have no chance.  Mr. Fusili was captured in the Eiffel Tower and Dr. Spaghetti has given up and is flying home to Portland, in the U.S.A.”  He was not sure of his own words, but he would not tell the prisoners this.  “Why give them a false hope?” he thought, though he worried.

Back to the pasta people.  We left them on a jet plane.  As they flew, Dr. Spaghetti explained, “Now remember, everyone, we just have to collect enough information to convince the authorities that Mr. Linguine is the one behind all the attacks of Mac Minions.  Then they will catch him for us.”  Soon they had arrived.  They asked the security guard if anyone had booked or bought a room in the hotel in the skyscraper lately.  They security guard said “Yes, a Miss Angelhair, a Mr. Macaroni,”  (They all exchanged looks.) “and here, a Mr. Linguine, a very odd case.”

“How so, sir?” asked Mr. Tagliatelle, looking puzzled.

“Well, he doesn’t stay here in a room.  He bought the whole top floor!”

“Wow!” they all said.

Then, Mrs. Ravioli said briskly, “Thank you for the information.  Now can we explore the building?”  The security guard said yes and moved on.  Soon, they got to the top floor.  They then climbed up a stairway, as the elevator did not go to his rooms.

When they arrived, they were very quiet and soon they heard voices.  “We have figured out that Dr. Spaghetti is not back home and Mr…”

“Fool! Be quiet or our prisoners will hear you!”

A whisper, “Mr. Fusilli is not caught.  We shall find out where he is soon and catch him.”

Dr. Spaghetti whispered. “I got that recorded. That should be enough evidence.”

“Good,” said Mr. Fusilli. “Let’s go!”

A computer said “Our intelligence has found the location of Mr. Fusilli and Dr. Spaghetti.  They are in the top floor of Taipei 101, 10 feet from where you are standing.” All the pasta people barely had time to say “Uh-Oh” and “Run!”  before Dr. Spaghetti and Mr. Fusili were caught in Mr. Lasagna’s huge hands and Mr. Tagliatelle was caught between huge pieces of lasagna.  Mrs. Ravioli pried her husband out as Dr. Spaghetti roped around Mr. Lasagna’s ankles and Mr. Fusili dug into his feet.  Soon he had tripped and Dr. Spaghetti, Mr. Fusili and Mr. Tagliatelle had got out and were on their feet.  But a voice boomed through the intercom “Mr. Lasagne, get back over here. Macaroni guards, attack!”  Mr. Lasagna ripped off his bonds and ran through the incoming minions, who pulled out their blasters and pulled the trigger.  Cheese was flying everywhere.  Mrs. Ravioli was giving everyone ravioli shields when she was hit by enough cheese to make anyone stagger.  Mr. Fusilli was knocked down by a well-aimed cheese blob.  Mr. Tagliatelle got caught below his ravioli shield.  The battle continued.

Meanwhile, Mr. Lasagne was back with Mr. Linguine in his office.  He said, “They are powerful.  Maybe we should call mac men back-up?”

“Yes, I will call them. Right now, you go set the traps.”

“Really, the traps?”

“Yes, I have a feeling we might need them.”

Back to our heroes…  They were fighting a battle, weren’t they?  Mr. Tagliatelle never got up again.  Mr. Fusili was in the corner, stuck to the wall and covered with cheese.  Mrs. Ravioli, though, was still fighting strong.   Dr. Spaghetti was cheesy but not so cheesy that he couldn’t keep fighting.  He was locked in combat with a Mac Minion when several precisely launched cheese pellets headed toward him.  He braced himself for the stickiness when a ravioli spun out of nowhere and caught the cheese pellets.  He roped his macaroni man with lots of spaghetti and called, “Thank you!” to Mrs. Ravioli.

The battle was soon over.  Mr. Fusili, who already had withstood many battles, was too weak to go on.  But everyone else was fine.  As they walked along to Mr. Linguine, Mr. Tagliatelle disappeared.  Mrs. Ravioli called, “Bob Tagliatelle!  Where are you?”

“I am at the bottom of a deep pit,” came the reply.  They looked around and did not see a pit, a trap door, or anything that could hide a pit.  Then they felt along on their hands and knees.  Dr. Spaghetti almost lost his balance when one hand he placed on a patch of ground gave way.  He pushed and his hand went through the ground as if it was air.  Dr. Spaghetti gasped.  Mrs. Ravioli came hurrying over but Dr. Spaghetti said quickly, “Stop!  We don’t know how big this hologram is.”  They soon found the perimeter and went around now much more cautiously.

Walking along, they called to Mr. Tagliatelle, “No worries.  We will rescue you as soon as we capture Mr. Linguine.”

The next thing they found was a door.  This door was locked and it was the only way to continue the path to Mr. Linguine.  They key was on a little platform elevated over the ground.  Mrs. Ravioli said, “I know the approximate weight of the key.  I can switch the metal I have with the key so we can get by.”

She did that slowly and after she switched it, a computer voice said, “Naughty, naughty.  I will catch you because I have a net.”

Then the trapdoor underneath her feet swung open and she fell into a net. She said, “Don’t worry about me.  Go get Mr. Linguine.”

Dr. Spaghetti left after she tossed up the key.  As he raced forward, he accidentally stepped on yet another platform.  This platform pushed a lever, which in turn pushed up another lever, which pushed a rock, which fell onto a platform, which fell out from underneath the boulder which toppled after Dr. Spaghetti.  All Dr. Spaghetti though was, “I feel like Indiana Jones,” as he raced down the path.  The boulder looked like it was still gaining speed.  He saw a wall up ahead which he got closer and closer to.  Just as he touched the wall, it swung around and the boulder crashed into it, with Dr. Spaghetti safe but stuck on the other side.

He walked around the room he was in.  Soon a voice could be heard saying, “Dr. Spaghetti, Mr. Lasagne will come and fight you.  If you win, you can continue to me.  If not, you will stay in here forever.”   Soon, as Dr. Spaghetti looked around, Mr. Lasagne appeared and soon threw himself at Dr. Spaghetti.  Soon Dr. Spaghetti had tackled him back.  Dust rose and before he knew it, he was up on his feet, the dust had cleared and Mr. Lasagne was sitting, tied up on the ground.  Mr. Linguine said, “I must keep my word and let you continue to me, shouldn’t I?”  Before Dr. Spaghetti could say anything, Mr. Linguine cackled and said “No!”  A pit suddenly appeared beneath his feet. Dr. Spaghetti caught the edge.  Mr. Lasagne was not so lucky.  Still bound tight, he had fallen to the base.

Dr. Spaghetti said, “What is with you and pits, trapdoors, and nets?”  He swung himself up and patted around for the section of the wall which let Mr. Lasagne in.

Mr. Linguine said quickly, “Let’s just say I don’t have great experiences with them.  I give up.  I say truthfully all my tranquilizer guns mounted in the wall are off.”

“How do I know that I can trust you?”

“You don’t!”

As he found the door and pushed it open, Mr. Linguine said, “I said they were off then.  Now,” he pressed a button, “they are not so off!”  He moved around to face Dr. Spaghetti.  He stood his ground though even as Mr. Linguine pressed the button labeled in caps “FIRE!”  The guns all shot but Dr. Spaghetti was still standing.  That was because all the bullets had hit not him but Mr. Linguine. Mr. Linguine had forgotten that Mr. Lasagne had had a remote to control the guns too.  As they wrestled, Dr. Spaghetti slipped it out of his pocket, recoded them and set the targeting system locked permanently on Mr. Linguine.  He got all of his team out of there and soon everyone was safe.  There were no more Mac Men, and Mr. Linguine and Mr. Lasagne were in jail.

Later, all of them met up in Dr. Spaghetti’s and Mrs. Penne’s home in Lake Oswego, Oregon. They had done a wonderful job dealing with this crime and were all extremely proud of themselves. Dr. Spaghetti had done a extra deed… the pasta sauce vaccine had worked and the disease was disappearing. Then Mrs. Ravoili’s walked into the room, turned on the TV, and went to the news. “…and Central America all have been affected. This pandemic is spreading and posing a danger to southern Mexico. All airplane, boats, or cars have to be checked carefully for traces of the disease when going into any country.”

Before the news reporter could start another sentence, Dr. Spaghetti was out the door and on his bike.